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|Music City Missy||
Just got this today - tell this to DH - Thou Shalt Not Skim Flavor from the Holidays!
Joined: Dec 9, 2005
Posted to Thread #13135 at 1:28 am on Dec 20, 2008
Thou Shalt Not Skim Flavor from the Holidays
I hate this time of year. Not for it's crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining ten pounds . . . or more.
You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts: Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I don't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph.
I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's. Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an egg-nog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate. Unless, of course, it's Brother John's fruitcake. (We just hope he makes it with this year's fruit and not 2006's fruit that's been soaking in his garage all this time. Really Gig, don't be such a Scot! HA!)
10 And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.
Other messages in this thread:
- 13135. What is your Christmas Menu? Here's mine... - Michael in Sarasota - 2:54pm on 12/19/08 (62)
- Everyone will be home on Christmas Eve - desertjean - 4:20pm on 12/19/08
- Your tradition is awesome and inspiring too. What a blessing "Smile" you are! [NT] - Mercy - 4:49pm on 12/19/08
- how wonderful that your DH can join you this year. [NT] - AngAk - 7:10pm on 12/19/08
- Roast Beet and Pomegranate Soup with Spiced Apple-mint Crema sounds pretty cool---recipe? [NT] - charlie - 4:33pm on 12/19/08
- This is a recipe Traca collected and posted on her site. [LINK] - Michael in Sarasota - 5:05pm on 12/19/08
- Michael, I am making day after Christmas dinner and want to make Yorkshire - Barbara in VA - 5:12pm on 12/19/08
- Rec: Herbed Yorkshire Puddings - Michael in Sarasota - 6:12pm on 12/19/08
- Thank you so much. I love all the herbs used. I can't wait to try these. [NT] - Barbara in VA - 1:52am on 12/20/08
- I've found that getting the drippings hot enough is key. - Amanda_Pennsylvania - 4:44am on 12/21/08
- We've decided that we will only do the traditional at Thanksgiving so we are doing - Melissa Dallas - 5:38pm on 12/19/08
- oooh... Melissa! Can I have Christmas dinner at YOUR house?! Could you share the queso recipe? [NT] - cheezz - 6:19pm on 12/19/08
- Sure you can come. We're used to some BIG family get togethers. I'll post the recipe. [NT] - Melissa Dallas - 7:40pm on 12/19/08
- Rec: Queso Fundido - Melissa Dallas - 7:43pm on 12/19/08
- This sounds fantastic, I may have to add this to our menu, only halve it. Thanks for posting! [NT] - Dawn_MO - 8:32pm on 12/19/08
- Melissa, we are doing the same thing... - Dawn_MO - 8:33pm on 12/19/08
- We started last year too. I could really skip all the turkey stuff except for my mom's dressing - Melissa Dallas - 8:48pm on 12/19/08
- Dawn, I was wanting to do Mexican this year but got over ruled! - GayleMO - 10:05pm on 12/19/08
- Hi Gayle...(long) - Dawn_MO - 12:22am on 12/20/08
- I hear ya! Once......(NFRC) - GayleMO - 5:13am on 12/20/08
- Yay, hubby poured gasoline down at the edge of the driveway - Dawn_MO - 5:04pm on 12/20/08
- paella, garlic bread, salad, Christmas cookies, sparkling juices :) [NT] - cheezz - 6:19pm on 12/19/08
- Ours is going to be a bit different this year.... - Kathleen - 8:01pm on 12/19/08
- Kathleen, your kids will love it! Enjoy! [NT] - DawnNYS - 8:31pm on 12/19/08
- Kathleen, that sounds like great fun! - Dawn_MO - 8:40pm on 12/19/08
- Be careful, they may decide it's your new tradition. I made snack and appetizer type - Curious1 - 9:09pm on 12/19/08
- LOL, I love this! you go girl. bring on the junk food, errrrr, I mean Tapas. [NT] - AngAk - 9:48pm on 12/19/08
- We're doing a similar thing, too, Kathleen.... - GayleMO - 10:00pm on 12/19/08
- Just got this today - tell this to DH - Thou Shalt Not Skim Flavor from the Holidays! - Music City Missy - 1:28am on 12/20/08
- LOL. I had to pass this on to my bookclub ladies---we par-tay tomorrow night! [NT] - AngAk - 2:01am on 12/20/08
- This is Brilliant! Thanks. [NT] - MarilynFL - 3:34pm on 12/26/08
- Kathleen, you have one really sensible head screwed onto those shoulders - orchid - 6:06am on 12/20/08
- Hummmm...maybe there would be a neck involved? [NT] - orchid - 6:08am on 12/20/08
- LOL!! [NT] - Sandy_in_Philly - 6:10am on 12/20/08
- Thanks for all the support....my husband made one last plea for prime rib last night.... - Kathleen - 5:26pm on 12/20/08
- Sounds like a Christmas with the promise of some legendary memories! I can't believe your kid - Traca - 12:25am on 12/21/08
- Actually, it makes long car trips or crazy nights a bit frustrating.... - Kathleen - 8:15pm on 12/21/08
- Swedish meatballs, Jansson's Temptation, creamed kale, limpa bread, not-Swedish plum pudding. - Shaun in TO - 9:01pm on 12/19/08
- what makes it "Swedish" baked ham Shaun? spices? [NT] - AngAk - 9:50pm on 12/19/08
- Swedish mustard. Otherwise it's pretty "normal." Can't get corned ham here, but it's [LINK] - Shaun in TO - 3:10pm on 12/20/08
- Just found out we are having Swedish Meatballs for Christmas eve! - Heather_in_SF - 9:31pm on 12/21/08
- Keep it coming - you are all inspiring me to do something easier - Music City Missy - 1:32am on 12/20/08
- MCM...make it easy on yourself. I will never forget the glares I got the year - Dawn_MO - 7:51am on 12/20/08
- DH always does the bulk of the clean up after big dinner parties otherwise all he'd get a sandwich. [NT] - Sylvia - 2:47pm on 12/21/08
- LOL [NT] - DawnNYS - 3:37pm on 12/21/08
- I have to ask... what is SS? Silly Santa? ;o) I know DH, DS, DD, but never heard of SS until now. [NT] - DawnNYS - 3:43pm on 12/21/08
- For Christmas night it;s the family stand-by: Manicotti, bread, salad, sauteed onions and peppers [LINK] - Joe - 1:38am on 12/20/08
- Joe, do you serve this manicotti for catering gigs? Looks good.... [NT] - Traca - 2:38am on 12/20/08
- It's on my menu but no one has ever ordered it. It's not very glamourous, but it is so delicious. - Joe - 4:05am on 12/20/08
- Michael your menu looks awesome! My Polish friends have a big open house every year. - Traca - 2:30am on 12/20/08
- Yum! Haven't had bigos for a long while. [NT] - Sylvia - 1:48pm on 12/21/08
- I'll be in the "neighborhood"! [NT] - AngAk - 7:55pm on 12/22/08
- So excited about Christmas dinner this year, I'm in the mood for beef... - Heather_in_SF - 4:37am on 12/20/08
- Yay for your Mom! Such a blessing. [NT] - AngAk - 7:57pm on 12/22/08
- The aforementioned Herb and Shallot Beef Tenderloin. - Amanda_Pennsylvania - 8:41pm on 12/20/08
- We're very traditional but I always dot one new ones. This year... Port Glazed Pearl Onions. - Sylvia - 1:10pm on 12/21/08
- Dot = do (Stupid fingers.) [NT] - Sylvia - 1:11pm on 12/21/08
- Ones = one. (Sigh!) [NT] - Sylvia - 1:12pm on 12/21/08
- We're having our traditional Christmas menu... - GeorgiaRose - 5:18pm on 12/23/08
- Don'tcha just love beef and Gorgonzola? [NT] - charlie - 8:13pm on 12/23/08