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Well then, to go with the shoes you might wish to consider making Marilyn's Black Garter Belt Pie

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Joined: Dec 9, 2005


Posted to Thread #5906 at 1:14 am on Mar 1, 2007

"Black Garter Belt" Pie Recipe

This recipe came from a old friend who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent (she not being one of them). It was her "Secret Weapon" and ("Are we alone here?'s just us girls, right?? 'cause this is warfare stuff, and if it gets into the wrong hands, I can't be held responsible for the outcome.")

Anyway, according to my source, this pie is "The One and True Secret" to seducing ANY man! Well...that--and wearing a black garter belt when you serve it.

She was right.

(Of course, I've noticed you could serve styrofoam peanuts in a bath of heavyweight 10-40 motor oil while wearing a garter belt-- regardless of the color--and they would love it).

"Black Garter Belt" Pie, formerly known as the dessert "Grammy's Pear Pie".

1/2 C unsalted butter, soft
1/3 C sugar
1/2 tsp pure vanilla
3/4 C flour
2/3 C chopped pecans.

Cream the butter, sugar & vanilla till light and fluffy. Add the flour and the nuts. The dough will be incredibly soft and you will start to panic--thinking you need to add more flour. DON'T DO IT! Get out an 8" pie pan, scoop the dough in, spreading it as best you can while standing around in a garter belt. Now, pour some extra flour in another bowl, dip your fingers in it and pat the dough into a shape somewhat resembling a pie crust. That's it...up the sides and flatten the bottom. Stop licking your fingers! Yes, I know it's incredibly good...but you are on a mission here, girl..there's a man out there waiting to be seduced. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!

8 oz. full-fat vanilla yogurt (no Fat-Free stuff allowed here)
8 oz. regular cream cheese, room temp (see note above)
2 eggs
1/3 C sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp grated lemon rind (fresh or forget it).

Now you have a few options on the filling. The one listed above will give you a thin cheesecake-like, creamy, dense filling. It's great and the one most people like. But I just made it again (san garter belt) for a
comparison taste test at work and used 8 oz. of Mascapone cheese (God's answer to "How can we put EVEN MORE FAT into this recipe?") rather than good 'ol Philadelphia cream cheese.

The taste was lighter, fluffier, sweeter, with less tang. In the taste test, some described this as "boring, but good"..("they" being forced to give an opinion of some sort if they ever hoped to get any food from me
again). You can try either one. But bear in mind the mascapone is 4 times more expensive than cream cheese ($1.19 versus $4.29)!!

Drain 1 can of pear slices and trim off the nasty core area. Slice each slice into a few thin slices and lay them in a decorative, but assertive pattern on the top of the filling.
NOTE: if you prefer to use fresh pears, you'll need to poach them first. They need to be soft for this recipe.

Grate some fresh nutmeg on the top.
Grate some fresh nutmeg on the top.
Grate some fresh nutmeg on the top.

Now, lift your right hand and repeat after me:

"I, [your name], do hereby, upon threat of eating SPAM for the rest of my long and pitiful life, promise to use FRESH nutmeg on this pie and not that dried stuff that has been sitting in the closet since Aunt Beulia died in 1968 and left me all her eggnog supplies."

"If I do not have any FRESH nutmeg, I WILL make that extra trip to the store and I WILL fork over the ludicrous amount of money they want for a few little, stinking nuts that were laying around on the ground not too long ago....

or--I WILL FORFEIT the right to make this pie."

Bake at 350 degrees for:
50 minutes: Mascapone cheese
60 minutes or thereabouts: Cream cheese
Watch the has a tempermental personality and likes to burn every now and then.

Serve chilled with a light, fruity wine....and the pie should be cold too.

(Now that I've tantalized you, realize this is just a's good...most people like it...some hate it--that's life in a nutmeg shell.)

PS: of course, you can always follow this with an appertif of "Knock You Naked" Brownies....

Source: Marilyn in FL

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